I used to be really plugged into adoptee support groups etc. It's been a while, and although it is not as central of a theme in my life, I would still welcome new connections with other adoptees. There is a level in which I find only adoptees really understand the depth of what we go thtough...and how it is lifelong.
I posted last week and was disappointed to not get any responses (re: "no parents")
My birthday is coming up next week and I am having moments of pain and sadness...sense of being lost...mostly I am fine and grateful to have many wonderful friends and family close to me...
If anyone (especially if you are in the Santa Cruz or Bay Area) would like to explore a connection--via email, phone, whatever...I would be interested. Even if just for the occasional phone call or email to say "do you understand what it is like?" and to know that you would. It seems there are certain parts of experience that we all get on a deep level.
Thanks for reading my post.
I posted last week and was disappointed to not get any responses (re: "no parents")
My birthday is coming up next week and I am having moments of pain and sadness...sense of being lost...mostly I am fine and grateful to have many wonderful friends and family close to me...
If anyone (especially if you are in the Santa Cruz or Bay Area) would like to explore a connection--via email, phone, whatever...I would be interested. Even if just for the occasional phone call or email to say "do you understand what it is like?" and to know that you would. It seems there are certain parts of experience that we all get on a deep level.
Thanks for reading my post.
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SF Bay Area
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Unsu...
Re: Looking to make some new connections with other adoptees (esp. bay area but other areas welcome too)
Fri, May 5, 2006 - 11:25 PMHi there,
I am sorry to hear you're having the pre-birthday adoptee blues. It happens to me every year right before the "birthday". One day can conjure up so many feelings of sadness and loss.
I am in the Bay area. If you ever want to chat, private message me.
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Re: Looking to make some new connections with other adoptees (esp. bay area but other areas welcome too)
Sat, May 6, 2006 - 12:32 AMHiya,
I live up in the East Bay and would love to connect with you!
I have a really really hard time around my birthday as well. My birthday happens to be on Jan 5, right after the months of holidays and I always say I am not "into" celebrating my birthday since I am "over" all the holidays. Of course this is just bullshit and no one would know that except another adoptee!
What made it worse was when I did get in touch with my natural mom on the phone I mentioned the day of birth when trying to explain just who I was on the phone and her response was, "uh, I guess that sounds about right". I had so many fantasies about how she would be thinking of me on that day. Turns out she tried hard not to think of when it was exactly.
Needless to say I have not jumped at the chance to meet her! But that's another thread!
I would love to chat with you!
Christine
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Re: Looking to make some new connections with other adoptees (esp. bay area but other areas welcome too)
Sun, May 7, 2006 - 11:20 PMPlease, feel free to IM me too ... check out my previous post about this too ... Tracey and I had a discussion about the birthday thing. Totally depresssing for me too.
Much love from a fellow adoptee (in Southern Cal)
bridget -
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Re: Looking to make some new connections with other adoptees (esp. bay area but other areas welcome too)
Mon, May 8, 2006 - 12:08 AMThanks so much all of you--feels so good to hear from all of you who understand...I am doing pretty well actually--I really notice that my pain is much less now than it used to be. Of course there are moments when i still feel it and it is deep and sharp, but it passes more quickly and I am more able to feel the abundances in my life and all of the love and everything I have...
Actually--where I feel the most wounded still is when I am in relationship--and I interpret so much from a place of loss/rejection framework...that is so hard. I imagine you all can understand that too. It seems to take so much longer to heal in this realm. I am currently hoping to find a life partner--and so hope that I can do things differently....be more at ease.
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Re: Looking to make some new connections with other adoptees (esp. bay area but other areas welcome too)
Fri, June 9, 2006 - 10:03 AMhey guys, everything including birthdays stresses me out about being adopted. I've never been in theropy for anything(not saying i didn't need to be) and never really had the money so i really should be insain. i was reading you guys posts and it hurts to see so many not only in pain but with the same pain. Does it ever get better? -
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Re: Looking to make some new connections with other adoptees (esp. bay area but other areas welcome too)
Sun, June 11, 2006 - 5:19 PMFor me, I think the pain comes and goes. There are days when I can truly appreciate the fact that I was adopted into such a close and loving family but on the bad days ... I feel like an outsider, extremely distanced from my adoptive family. I have decided that *family* is what you make of it ... it can be defined so many ways and luckily ... I have some incredible friends (some adopted, most not, but regardless ...) they share my values and ideals and I am comforted by them. I wonder if perhaps it's generational? Perhaps this disconnected feeling has nothing to do with being adopted ... just feeling different and alone is a frightening place to be. I appreciate this tribe and your willingness to share. It has definitely helped me on my neverending journey to find comfort within myself. Thanks for keeping this tribe alive recently.
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